A Nobody's Heart
by strangechild13
Summary: Axel said they'd meet in the next life. Do they need it, though? Rated for language and shounen-ai AkuRoku, RiSo


**A/N: I don't own this characters, kthnx. -Kev**

Sometimes he'd look in the mirror and see someone else staring back.

Sometimes he'd hear a voice in his head.

Sometimes he'd have memories that weren't his.

Sometimes he'd wonder if he was going crazy.

"Hey, Sora!" Riku called. "Over here!" Sora smiled and walked down the beach to where his friends were sitting. He hopped up onto the fallen tree. Suddenly he got a flash of sitting on a ledge. He shuddered discreetly. Neither Riku nor Kairi noticed. The three teens sat calmly and watched the sunset together.

_I remember doing this_, a voice in Sora's head said. Sora rolled his eyes. It was dark now.

"So Sora, want to hang out at my house tonight?" Kairi asked. Sora looked at Riku. The silver-haired boy cleared his throat.

"Actually, Sora was staying over at my place tonight. Sorry, Kairi."

Kairi's face fell. "That's okay. Maybe tomorrow night." The redheaded girl jumped off the tree and walked away.

Sora and Riku stayed on the beach for a few more hours, talking and laughing. For just a little while, Sora forgot about all the freaky things that had been happening and he could just be a normal teenage boy. It was a nice feeling... while it lasted. That pesky voice that was similar to his own just _had_ to pop up again.

_Axel..._

"Axel?" Sora whispered. Sora remembered Axel, the redhead who had given his life to save him. The redhead who had confessed to wanting nothing more than seeing "Roxas" one more time. To be honest, the only times Sora ever thought about Axel anymore was when he was having those weird memories that weren't his- Axel was in a lot of those memories, it seemed.

"What about him?" Riku asked. Sora turned. The silver-haired boy was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Riku, what did Roxas' voice sound like?" Sora asked. Riku shrugged.

"Kind of like yours, but not quite. Why?"

Sora silently reached for Riku's hand. The brunette stared at their twined fingers rather than Riku's face as he explained all the weird things that had been happening to him lately. Riku was silent, face emotionless save a raised brow, letting Sora explain. He was silent for a few minutes after Sora finished.

"Sora... I think Roxas wants out."

"Huh? What... do you mean?"

"Roxas is your Nobody. I think you kind of... absorbed him, for lack of a better word, and he wants out. Maybe he wants the same thing Axel wanted. Maybe all they want is to see each other again. You're the one with a look inside Roxas' memories. What were he and Axel?"

"They were... together, I think. A lot of the memories of Axel are... not so innocent. There are some innocent ones, though. Then there are some that don't involve Axel at all. They involve those kids I met in Twilight Town. Roxas must have lived there, I think. He must have been friends with them. Do you really think Roxas is with me?"

Riku smiled. "I think so. Don't you remember in The World That Never Was? When he disappeared into that light? I think that was you re-absorbing him. You needed to absorb him to... wake up."

"You said I was asleep for... a year?"

"That's right. So, you ready to head back?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll let you know in the morning if I have any weird dreams tonight." Sora and Riku walked from the beach hand in hand, talking and laughing the whole way. They talked about how Kairi seemed to haven't noticed they were together, Sora told funny stories about Donald and Goofy, and Riku told stories of his time in the darkness. When they got to Riku's, the older boy had to let go of the brunette's hand momentarily to unlock the door, but made up for it by wrapping his arms around the boy's waist as soon as the door was closed, leaning his forehead on Sora's.

"Riku..."

"I love you, Sora." Riku gave the brunette a quick, chaste kiss on the lips.

"Hmm, love you too. Want to see what's on TV?"

"Why not?"

Riku sat on the couch and turned on the TV, Sora sitting and cuddling up to the older boy. Riku smiled and kissed the top of Sora's head. They wound up watching a movie about a woman who was lonely and sad until she ran into her high school sweetheart. It was about the time the high school sweetheart was confessing that he never stopped loving her that Sora heard crying. It sounded like it was coming from inside his head and, thinking back to his conversation on the beach, he instantly knew what it was.

"Turn it off."

"What?" Riku asked, looking at Sora with an odd expression.

"Roxas doesn't like it. Turn it off."

Riku, understanding, turned the TV off. "Sorry, Roxas. Probably wish there was a second chance for you and Axel, huh?" Sora, after a pause, nodded.

"He does. I just wish we could give him one, you know? After all they went through, they deserve a happy ending too..."

"Yeah, but there's nothing we can do about it now. I really wish we could do _something_ after all that stuff you told me... I never really thought about what it was like for him before, but after we talked, it's almost like you were telling me about your brother or something..."

"Riku, that's it!" Sora cried, jumping up.

"What's it?" Riku asked.

_Yeah, what the hell are you talking about?_

"What if we like, extract him or something and just tell everyone he's my brother? I mean, he's my Nobody. He looks just like me. He _is_ me. Isn't at least worth a shot?"

"I don't know if we could do that, Sora..."

"But can we _try_?"

"Sor, listen. I know you want to help Roxas. I do too, but the two of us alone? We can't. We'd have to get Ansem or someone to help us, and Ansem's the one that wanted you two joined together in the first place. So explain to me, how is this going to work?"

"We can explain it all to Ansem and he can think of a way to get Roxas out of me! If we just tell him what he wants, he'll let him out, right?"

_Always the optimist, aren't we, Sora?_

"I don't know, Sor. We can try, but I'm not promising anything."

Sora grinned and jumped onto the still sitting Riku. "Thanks, Ri! I'll get ahold of Donald or Goofy and get a Gummi ship and we can go to Hollow Bastion and help Roxas! This is so awesome!" The excited brunette went to run into the other room. Riku grabbed his wrist.

"Don't you think you can at least wait till the morning?"

_I know I can..._

"Roxas, you're such a downer!" Sora said, pouting.

_Get over it. You're not the first to tell me that._

"Fine," Sora huffed. "We'll wait until morning, but don't think I'll forget! And Roxas... no dreams _like that _again please? Or I'll smack you upside the head the second you materialize. I really hate dreaming about that."

_Yes sir. I'll be good._

Sora smiled and rolled his eyes at Roxas' tone, which reminded Sora of a teen talking to his father. He went and sat back down with Riku and argued with Roxas over which movie to watch until he grew tired. Sora smiled as he felt Riku's arm drape over his waist. He would have no problem acting like Roxas was his brother. They acted like brothers already. With that thought, he fell asleep.

_Fade_

That night, he dreamt of Axel and Roxas. It wasn't one long memory, but more like a lot of short ones. Kisses in a hallway, sitting on a ledge laughing, even running through snow. One memory stood out to Sora. Roxas was wandering through a hallway, and he opened the door to a bedroom. He started shaking a person-shaped lump in the blankets, calling Axel's name, when Axel suddenly reached out and rolled over so Roxas was on the bed under Axel. Sora remembered Riku doing the same thing to him. Roxas laughed and wrapped his arms around Axel's neck, kissing him. Roxas seemed to have some control, because the memory ended before the kissing got too graphic. Then the memories were over and it was just Roxas sitting on the beach, on the fallen tree Sora and his friends liked to sit on. Sora walked over to him and sat down.

"Hi," Sora said.

"Hey."

"Excited?"

"How will it be any different than it is now? Other than _you_ won't have my dreams anymore and I won't be stuck here?"

"You won't be alone anymore. You'll have me, and Riku and Kairi. Maybe even Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka. Then you'll see it's not as bad as you think."

Roxas turned to look at the brunette. The amount of heartbreak in Roxas' eyes made Sora want to cry. "They lied. Why did they lie to me? I fell for him, but they said I couldn't. I'm heartbroken. I _miss _him. They told me I could never feel stuff like this. Why the _hell_ did they lie to me?"

"I don't know, Roxas," Sora said quietly. "I don't know."

Roxas turned to stare at the ocean, his blonde hair catching the light of the setting sun. "Why does all the sad stuff happen to me? Why is it always me? Half my friends are dead, the other half don't know who I am. What am I supposed to do if I _do_ get out of here?"

"As far as Axel goes, I know what you're going through. There were times I thought Riku was dead."

Roxas turned. "It's not the same thing. You only _thought_. I know. I _saw_. I watched him eaten alive by his own element. I couldn't even be with him while he was lying there, dying. I couldn't do a _thing_."

Roxas' eyes lost their focus, and by the tears that rolled down his cheeks, Sora could tell he was reliving Axel's death.

_Fade_

Sora awoke suddenly, his eyes flying open. He looked over to Riku, who was still asleep. He eased himself out from under Riku's arm and got dressed, walking to the kitchen to make breakfast.

"That black coat's going to scare Kairi. She has to at least remember that."

_She doesn't remember?_

"Not really. Anyway, we're wasting time! Let's go wake up-,"

"Riku?" a familiar voice asked. Sora turned to find the silver-haired boy leaning against the doorway. He smiled and walked over to Sora to give him a kiss.

"Come on, Riku! We have to go to Hollow Bastion! We have to help Roxas!"

Riku sighed. "All right, all right. Let me go get dressed." Riku left and came back a few minutes later fully dressed. He grabbed a quick breakfast while Sora contacted Donald and Goofy for a Gummi ship. The brunette came back, looking twice as excited as he did when he left the room. Sora announced they got the ship and Donald and Goofy were on their way to come get them. Riku could tell Sora wanted Roxas out badly. It really was like someone waiting for their brother to come home. Sora and Riku left to go to the beach to meet Donald and Goofy. Soon, a Gummi ship landed, a dog and a duck getting out. The four greeted each other and boarded the ship.

_These losers again? Seriously, Sora?_

Sora sighed, choosing not to acknowledge Roxas in front of Donald and Goofy.

"What's wrong, Sor?" Riku asked.

"You know what's wrong," Sora replied. Riku nodded.

"Don't worry. We'll see him soon."

"See who?" Donald asked suspiciously. "Why are we going to Hollow Bastion?"

"We're going to see Sora's brother," Riku explained. "Did you bring clothes for him?"

Sora held up a bag. "I had a hard time finding something I thought he'd like, but I did find jeans and a shirt. I'm so excited! This is going to be great! I hope he's as excited as I am!"

_Is that physically possible?_

Riku echoed Roxas. Sora rolled his eyes. The rest of the ride was silent. When the got to Hollow Bastion, Leon and Cloud were waiting, stoic as ever.

"Sora?" Leon asked.

"What's going on?" Cloud continued.

"We have to talk to you. Just the four of us." Cloud, Leon, Sora, and Riku walked into a room. Leon shut the door.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I want Roxas out."

Sora's statement was met with silence. Cloud and Leon's masks seemed to have fallen, their surprise evident on their faces. Cloud cleared his throat, but didn't say anything. Leon looked over at the blonde with a raised brow, but also stayed silent. Sora and Riku exchanged a look. Sora bit his lip.

"Um... guys?"

"This may hurt a bit."

_Fade_

Sora still had his eyes closed until he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He opened his eyes to see a sad-looking blonde boy about his age wearing a long black coat. He grinned.

"Roxas!" Sora threw his arms around the blonde. Roxas made a noise of surprise.

"Hey, Sora. I can't breathe..."

"Sorry." Sora released the boy and handed him the bag. "Clothes to change into. You'll make people suspicious in that coat of yours." Sora looked around. Cloud and Leon had disappeared.

"We'll be right outside," Riku said, leading Sora away. Roxas shrugged and changed into the clothes, putting his clothes in the bag. He left the room, finding Sora and Riku with a duck and a dog.

"You two must be Donald and Goofy. Sora's told me a lot about you." Roxas offered a small smile. Sora grinned again and put an arm around Roxas' shoulders.

"Who are you?" Donald asked.

"I'm Sora's brother. My name is Roxas. It's nice to finally meet you."

The five climbed onto the Gummi ship. Sora turned to Roxas and grinned.

"Are you excited to see Destiny Islands?"

"I've been there before, Sora. I doubt it's changed that much."

"You've been to Destiny Islands?" Riku asked.

"Don't talk to me," Roxas muttered. Riku rolled his eyes. Sora looked back and forth between the two boys. He sighed quietly and looked at Riku. He heard a small noise from his other side and saw Roxas with his hands balled into fists and his head down. The brunette bit his lip and put a hand on the blonde's back. Donald and Goofy stared at the crying blonde and Riku was staring out the window, trying not to look.

"Let it out. Let it out," Sora said gently, rubbing the blonde's back. "It hurts, I know. You're not alone anymore. You've got me now. I'm here."

"Roxas, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did." Riku was finally looking at the blonde. Roxas looked up with tear-filled eyes.

"You saved me. I can't hate you. Besides, Sora likes you, so I kind of have to like you anyway." Roxas smiled slightly. Riku laughed.

"See, you guys are getting along already. I'm glad to see you smiling, Roxas. I'm sure he'd be happy to know you're going to be okay."

Roxas' smile grew a small bit. "Yeah. You're right."

"Is he okay?" Goofy asked.

"I'm fine," Roxas said.

"Roxas was living with someone else, but he died, so he's going to live with me now," Sora explained. "Roxas is really torn up about it. He thinks it's his fault."

"It _is _my fault. If hadn't run away, he wouldn't have gone after me and the whole thing would have been avoided." Roxas looked at his lap and took a shaky breath. "It's... all my... fault..."

"No, Roxas, it's not. You told me what happened, and it's not your fault. I know he was your best friend. Please don't cry. He wouldn't want you to cry." Sora's words couldn't stop the tears that rolled down Roxas' cheeks. Sora looked to Riku, who shrugged.

"Oh, Roxas..." Riku sighed. "You're quite a handful, aren't you?"

"He always said the same thing," Roxas said, letting out a pathetic sounding laugh. Sora inwardly cringed at the sound, his heart going out to the blonde next to him. They landed in Destiny Islands then, the three boys getting off the ship. Goofy and Donald said goodbye and the ship took off from the beach. Sora grinned and turned to Roxas.

"Come on, let's go see Kairi!" Sora took off, leaving Riku and Roxas behind. Riku turned to the blonde.

"Let's just walk." Roxas nodded and the two left the beach and walked to a house. Sora was on the front porch with a girl with red hair. The girl ran off the porch and grabbed Roxas in a tight hug. Roxas looked at Sora, who shrugged. The girl finally pulled away.

"I'm Kairi. Sora told me your story. I'm so sorry."

"You told her about Axel?" Roxas demanded.

"Don't worry, she doesn't know the whole story. She just knows about what happened. Why do you even care?"

Roxas walked up to the brunette and tugged on one of the spikes. "Because I do. How much did you tell her?" Roxas asked, crossing his arms. He fixed Sora with a demanding look. Sora gulped.

"Just that you were living with a guy and he died. I didn't mention how close you were, I didn't even give his name," Sora answered. "I didn't mention how he died either," he added quietly.

"You make me want to punch something, you know that?" Roxas raised a hand. "But as it stands..." There was a flash of light and Oblivion appeared in Roxas' hand. Riku shook his head and Sora backed up.

"You can do it too?" Kairi asked.

"I'm Sora's brother. Of course I can do it." Roxas summoned Oathkeeper and stared at the Keyblades in his hands. He made them disappear again, and sat down on the steps. Sora sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Come on, man. Don't get bummed out now. Give me this bag." Sora pried the bag from Roxas' hands and opened it. Roxas looked down at his borrowed sneakers.

"I couldn't bear to part with it. I'm sorry." Kairi inched closer to see what was in the bag, but Sora closed it before she could.

"Why do you have this?" Sora asked, handing the bag back to Roxas.

"It's a reminder of a time when I was happy. Twilight Town... I always felt like half a whole. When I look at that, I remember when I felt like a whole."

"That's so cute!" Kairi squealed. "What is it? Can I see?"

Sora shook his head. "It'll scare you. Oh, hey, I have an idea. Kairi, why don't you take Roxas here into town? He needs clothes. Riku and I will go and get a room ready for him."

Kairi brightened at the mention of shopping. "Okay! Come on, Roxas!" The redhead dragged the poor blonde boy away. Riku looked at Sora.

"How are you going to explain this to your mom?"

Sora hummed. "I don't know. I'll wing it, I guess."

_Fade_

"So, has anyone ever called you Roxy?" Kairi asked.

"Yeah. A couple people," Roxas answered, staring at his feet as he walked.

"Can I call you Roxy?" the girl asked hopefully.

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"My best friend's dead." Roxas finally looked at Kairi. "And don't give me your pity. I don't need it. Alright?"

Kairi rolled her eyes. "For twins, you and Sora are complete opposites. You're just..."

"A bitch? Yeah, I've been told. You know, you remind me of someone. A friend of mine. She was pretty awesome."

"No, no, I don't think you're a bitch! It's just I think you're different than Sora, that's all."

"Well, that's a damn shame, isn't it?" Roxas asked sarcastically. Kairi laughed.

"Well, here we are. Judging by what you're wearing, I think you'll like this store the best. It's the one Riku shops at." The girl pulled Roxas into a store. The blonde stumbled through the doorway and looked around. He went over to a rack.

"Sora's just brilliant, isn't he? The idiot sent me shopping without money."

"No, he didn't." Kairi held up a pouch that reminded Roxas of the one Olette had back in Twilight Town. "He just gave me the money. He said to buy whatever you wanted, so... knock yourself out, I guess."

"Thanks." Roxas continued to browse through the rack. He picked a few things he liked and wandered around the store. He picked up a wristband, checkered like he used to have in Twilight Town. He came back to Kairi after picking up a few more things. She smiled and they went to the counter to pay for the clothes. They walked out of the store and came face to face with a girl with light brown hair. She smiled widely.

"Kairi! Who's your friend? He looks like Sora!" The girl looked at Roxas. "I'm Selphie! What's your name?" Roxas looked down at his feet.

"This is Roxas, Sora's brother. He just came here from... was it Twilight Town?" Kairi said. Roxas nodded.

"He doesn't talk much, does he?"

"He's just... going through something right now. He'll be okay. Sora brought him here to hope he could get him to open up a little."

"Kairi..." Roxas hissed. "Let's just go."

"Fine," Kairi sighed. "See you later, Selphie. Roxy's impatient."

Roxas froze and dropped the bags he was holding to stare wide-eyes at Kairi. His mouth felt dry.

"W-what?"

Kairi seemed to realize her mistake. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! It just... it slipped out, I'm so sorry..."

Roxas said nothing. He picked up the bags and walked away. Kairi ran after him, but neither said a word the entire way to Sora's. The brunette was sitting on the steps. He took one look at the saddened boy and glanced at Kairi.

"What did you do?" Sora demanded.

"She called me Roxy," Roxas muttered. Sora bit his lip and made a noise of understanding.

"Riku's inside. Should I tell Kairi the whole story?" Sora asked as Roxas went inside.

"No."

Sora looked at Kairi. "I don't want to make him upset. I'll go in after him." The brunette went into the house. Riku pointed up the stairs. Sora went up to Roxas' room and found the blonde face down on the bed. Sora sat on the edge of the bed and put a hand on Roxas' back. He rubbed small circles as the other boy cried.

"The 'Roxy' comment brought it all back, didn't it?"

Roxas lifted his head. "He always called me impatient, too. That's what Kairi said. I don't get it. Every time I think I'm getting over him, some small thing happens and I'm back to square 1. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. You're just in love with him. You told me that. When you're in love, you always miss them when they're not around. I miss Riku when we're at school, and we're in the same building. That reminds me. School's starting soon. We need to get you registered and everything, which means telling mom you're here. She'll be home soon. Anyway, What I'm saying is that you'll never totally get over him, but one day you'll wake up and realize that life's worth living again. It'll get better, I promise."

"I dream about him every night, so it's like he just died every time I wake up. I'll never get over him, Sora. Never..." Roxas let out a sob and his head fell to the pillow again. Sora started rubbing the blonde's back again.

"He loved you too. I could see it. The way he acted with you... I believe in soul mates, and you two are definitely meant to be together. And when two people are meant to be together, fate finds a way for them to be together. You'll see him again outside of your dreams. Just keep reminding yourself that and you'll find it easier to live. I promise."

"And you always keep your promises, too, don't you?" Roxas asked, lifting his head from the pillow again. "I just hope you're right about this."

"Of course I'm right!" Sora chirped. "I'm your big brother!" His remark earned him a pillow to the face. The pillow was returned and Roxas looked at Sora, who had fallen to the floor, with an innocent look.

"So when does school start?"

Sora scowled briefly before shrugging. "Next Tuesday. Tomorrow we'll go get you registered and get your uniform and everything. You have a few days to learn your way around the island, and we'll even take you to the play island tomorrow after getting you all set up at school." The boy's heard a door slam closed downstairs and footsteps up the stairs. A woman poked her head in the open door.

"Sora, who's your friend?" the woman asked.

"It's a long story, but this is Roxas. Can he stay here?"

"For how long?"

"Until I get my own place. I'll take him with me then, I swear. Oh yeah, and you need to register him for school."

"What about his mother? Where did he come from?"

"I was... born... in Twilight Town. Please ma'am, I have nowhere else to go. Besides, Sora's like a brother to me and he offered to take me in. He told me it wouldn't be a problem. If it is, I can ask Riku or Kairi..."

"What about your parents?"

Sora cleared his throat. "Mom, you're his mom too. Like I said, it's a long story and you have to keep an open mind because it's a really crazy story." Sora led his mom downstairs, leaving Roxas to sit on the bed. He sat back against the headboard and tilted his head back, closing his eyes.

"You're an ass," he muttered to the air. "Leaving me with Sora. Thanks so much, Axel." He could've sworn he felt the familiar feeling of Axel's lips brushing over his own. His eyes flew open and he looked around the empty room. His head hit the wall again. "And now I'm losing my mind." Roxas stood, deciding to go to the beach. He walked downstairs and heard part of Sora's conversation.

"... And that's how we got where we are. Like I said, I felt bad for him and just wanted to make him happy." Sora greeted the blonde as he walked into the room.

"I'm going to take a walk."

"What happened?"

"Something weird. I think I just need some air."

Sora jumped up. "I'll come with you so you don't get lost." The boys went to leave.

"Oh, mom?" Sora asked. "Can he stay?"

"He's my son, isn't he?" The woman asked, smiling. Sora threw a fist in the air, making Roxas back up a few steps. The brunette pulled the blonde out the door and down the street. Sora was talking excitedly to the corner, when Roxas sighed.

"Sora! Sora, calm down! God, you're acting like Demyx on sugar!" Sora stopped dead and looked at Roxas.

"Who's Demyx?"

"One of my friends. He was kind of like you."

"Did I meet Demyx?"

"Blonde, the one you saw in the Underworld?"

"Oh! I remember him! The first one to call me by your name!"

"I think he was talking to me, actually. Anyway, where's a good place to go?"

"Maybe we can go to the play island. There's not as much of a chance of Tidus and Wakka being on the beach now as if we went after getting you registered tomorrow. Let's go!" The boys walked down to the beach. Sora pointed to a small island in the distance. The boys crossed the bridge to it. Roxas stood at the edge and watched the waves lap against the edge of the land. Sora came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. Roxas jumped and turned around.

"You're like, 18 inside, aren't you? You gave him everything you had, didn't you?"

"We gave _each other_ everything," Roxas corrected. "But I guess it wasn't meant to be."

"Love without hearts? That's meant to be if I ever heard it. You'll see each other again. Fate will find a way." Sora gave the blonde a hug, which Roxas shyly returned. Sora pulled away and looked at Roxas.

"You really do feel like my brother. I'm here for you. If you ever need to talk, even if it's 3 AM and you just need to vent. I'm here."

"Thanks. I always went to Demyx when Axel and I fought. He was the middle man. It's why we always made up so quickly. You want to know why I needed to get out?"

"Dish," Sora said girlishly, sitting down cross-legged on the sand. Roxas laughed, but sat down in the same manner as Sora.

"Okay, you can't tell anyone." Roxas leaned forward. "I was in the room we were talking in, and I don't know if I was starting to drift off or what, but I was just talking to myself and I could have sworn I felt him kiss me. It was so weird. You can't tell _anyone_, not even Riku. Promise?"

"I promise. Not even Riku. But Rox, you really should act happier around mom. She might call a therapist or something if she sees how sad you really are, and then you'd have to tell them about Axel. I don't think you want to do that."

Roxas shook his head. "Am I going crazy, though? Or do you think I was just falling asleep? I felt wide awake. What's going on?"

"You probably just imagined it. I mean, you were thinking about him. I don't think it's anything to worry about. If you start hearing him talk to you a lot when you're awake, let me know. That's a problem."

"Right. So, you come here with Riku a lot?"

"Yeah."

"That's cool. When we were on that clock tower, I swear there were times I thought I would fall. You've been to Twilight Town. You know how far that is to fall."

"There you two are. I should have figured you'd bring him here, Sora." Roxas and Sora turned to find Riku standing there. He sat next to Sora, kissing the brunette's cheek. Roxas looked at the water.

"I have the sudden urge to jump in." Sora and Riku turned to look. Riku smirked.

"Do it."

Roxas shrugged and stood. He walked halfway down the bridge and removed his shoes and jumped in. Sora stared. Riku laughed.

"I... can't... believe he just did that," Sora said slowly, shock in his voice. The blonde swam up to the island and got out of the water, smirking.

"That felt good. I never got to go swimming much before. Just when I was hanging out with Demyx."

"Axel didn't like water, huh?" Riku asked. Roxas laughed.

"Not at all. His element was fire. Fire and water just don't mix, my friend."

"We should get back. Rox, mom knows what you're going through. Dad died when I was like, 2."

"Oh. Okay." The three boys went back to Sora's house. Sora and Roxas' mother greeted Riku and her sons warmly. The boys sat down in front of the TV and flipped channels. Sora and Roxas argued over what to watch until Riku picked something and told them both to shut up.

_Fade_

"Sora, are you sure about this?" Roxas tugged on his wristband nervously. Sora looked at the wristband and then at Roxas with demanding eyes. Roxas sighed.

"So that's where I got that from. Why are you looking at me?"

Sora smirked. "I thought you couldn't get nervous," he joked. Roxas gave him the finger as he walked toward Riku, who had agreed to meet them at school. Sora ran behind him and up to the silver-haired boy. "Riku," he whined, "Roxas flipped me off."

"Roxas, don't make obscene hand gestures. Sora, don't whine. You _have _ a mother. You don't need me to act the part. Now both of you, behave. I won't be around to keep you two from arguing."

"You won't?" Roxas asked. Sora looked over at the blonde, surprised by his worried tone.

"He's a year older. He has different classes. We'll see him after school, don't worry." Sora put a hand on Roxas' shoulder and led him into the school building. Kairi was standing in front of a locker, talking to Selphie. Sora, Roxas, and Riku walked up to the girls. Kairi turned and it was hard to tell which boy she smiled at. She gave each boy a hug and Selphie gave Roxas an unsure look.

"So, um... where did you go to school before this?" the brunette girl asked.

Roxas shrugged. "I moved around too much to really go to school. I was... home-schooled, for lack of a better term."

"Is that what they're calling it now?" Riku muttered. Roxas glared at Riku and looked at Sora. The brunette was biting his lip and looking at the ground.

"What?" Selphie asked innocently. Roxas coughed.

"Sora, can I talk to you?" The blonde led his "brother" down the hall a bit. "Help me out here. I'm completely out of my element here. Should I be open about it or not?"

"Let's say you had to break up with your boyfriend to move here. That's why you're so sad all the time...?"

"Son of a bitch didn't even come to see me off. Some boyfriend he is. Of course, he was... busy."

"You're gay?" Selphie asked from behind Roxas. The blonde turned, startled.

"How much did you hear?"

"'You had to break up with your boyfriend to move here'," Selphie quoted. Roxas sighed and shook his head.

"It was supposed to be a secret. Yeah, I am. I love my boyfriend very much and can't imagine being with anyone but him." It sounded slightly sarcastic, Roxas realized, but he didn't care.

"That's... sweet... I'm going to go find Tidus and Wakka now..." The girl ran off.

"Homophobe," Roxas scoffed.

"Where'd you learn that?" Sora asked.

"Axel. Where else?" The two walked down to homeroom. They got in the room right before the bell rang. Roxas sat next to Sora. The teacher seemed surprised until Roxas produced his schedule and proved he was supposed to be there. The teacher welcomed him and let him be.

"So..." Sora said awkwardly.

"Sora, he talked to me last night. It was weird. I was on the clock tower, and I was wearing my coat, and he said..." Roxas paused in his whispering looking around. "You know the phrase 'If you love something, let it go'? He said 'Sometimes you love something too much to let it go. Sometimes, you love something so much you can't imagine your life without it, so you try your damnedest to get it back. And sometimes, you lose it anyway'. I think he was trying to explain to me why he did what he did, because he never got a chance to, you know?"

Sora nodded. "If this happens again, let me know. You're sure it wasn't you remembering something?"

"I'm sure. We've never had that conversation. It involved me asking him why he did what he did, so I don't think it was a memory."

A bell rang then. The two boys walked down the hall. Sora's mom had arranged for the two boys to have the same classes. Roxas showed his schedule to the teacher and once again sat beside Sora. He took out a sketchbook and pencil and began sketching the man in front of them. Sora watched as Roxas drew the man into a ring of fire and lightly sketched Axel in semi-profile in the top half of the page.

"You're odd," Sora commented.

Roxas snorted. "You're just now figuring this out?"

"Do you ever have normal dreams?"

"Do you?"

"Not since you showed up. I haven't dreamed since Hollow Bastion."

"Sucks for you. The only dreams I ever had were flashbacks of your life."

"Wow. Okay. Um, well, maybe now we'll both have normal dreams. Hopefully. Maybe mom can get you into that group she was in when dad first died. Maybe it'll help you."

"Maybe. Sounds like it might."

"We can talk to her about it when we get home from school. I really think it would help you."

"Alright students, my name is Mr. Ayame. This year we will be covering local history and legends as well as the Keyblade War."

Roxas was fixing his drawing as the teacher continued talking. After a while, he realized the boy wasn't paying attention and took the drawing away from the blonde. Mr. Ayame looked at it.

"Is this me?" he asked. Roxas nodded.

"He didn't mean anything by it, honestly! He hasn't been to a public school before and-," Sora started.

"Who is this?" the teacher asked, interrupting Sora.

"Someone I used to know, a long time ago."

Sora looked around. Every other student was staring at them now, wondering about the strange boy already being lectured by the teacher on the first day. The brunette bit his lip and looked at Roxas, who appeared to be lost in thought. The teacher set the drawing down on Roxas' desk and looked at the boy.

"Counselor's office. And take that drawing with you."

"Where?" Roxas asked.

"Don't play dumb with me, kid. Just go."

"Sir," Sora spoke up, "He's never been to a public school before. He really doesn't have any idea what you're talking about."

"Then you can show him," Mr. Ayame said. Sora and Roxas stood and walked out, Roxas' sketchbook in Sora's hands. As they walked down the hall, Sora flipped through the pages. He stopped at one and blinked.

"Is this Kairi?"

"Yeah, and Namine."

Sora continued to flip through the pages until he got to the one of Axel and their teacher. He knocked on a door and a muffled "come in" was heard from the other side. Sora opened the door and ushered Roxas in. The blonde looked around the room, confused, before focusing on the woman behind the desk. Her long brown hair went a little past her shoulders in waves. Roxas had to admit that if he had been Axel's age and straight, he would have found her attractive. Sora instructed him to sit down and handed him the sketchbook.

"This is Roxas. Mr. Ayame sent him for drawing this." Sora showed the woman the drawing. She nodded.

"Well Sora, why don't you have a seat? Roxas, was it? I don't believe we've met. You're the new student, am I right? I am Miss Shinobu. You may call me Mura. Now, why do you think Mr. Ayame sent you here?"

"Because I drew him in a possibly destructive situation?" Roxas seemed surprised at his own wording. "I've been hanging out with Zexion too much."

"Who's Zexion?" Mura asked. "I don't believe he's a student here."

"He was too old to be a student. He read all the time, so he knew a lot of words most people didn't and talking to him made you feel like the dumbest thing on the planet. My friend Demyx was really torn up when he died."

"And is this person you drew Zexion or Demyx?"

"No. I drew Axel. I... I draw him a lot. Riku would probably call me obsessed."

"Ah, now that's a familiar name. Riku is a student here, correct? Is he a friend of yours?"

"He's a friend of Sora's. I hardly know him."

"Why did you draw Axel and your teacher the way you did?"

"I knew Axel better than anyone. I knew what made him tick. That class was boring _me_, and I swear Axel had ADD or something. I just drew what would have happened if Axel would have been there. I didn't know it would get me in trouble. It seems I'm always getting myself into trouble."

"Did you have problems at your old school?"

"I was home-schooled. Most of what I know came from Axel, Demyx, or Zexion."

"What about your parents? Didn't they teach you anything?"

"My dad died when I was 2. My mom lives here, in Destiny Islands, but I grew up in Twilight Town. All I had were my friends. I didn't have Sora until about a year ago."

"I see, and are you two related? Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you two could pass for twins."

"We are," Sora and Roxas said in unison. Mura blinked.

"Oh. So you two were separated at birth?"

"Yes," Roxas said quietly. "I didn't even know who Sora was, even after Axel met him. Because Axel's a bastard and didn't tell me a God damn thing."

"Rox, watch your mouth," Sora sighed. Mura looked surprised at the boy's language.

"Sora's right. I would prefer you didn't swear in my office. You have quite the mouth for a boy your age."

"It's the way I grew up. We all said stuff like that. I'm sorry if it offends you."

Roxas and Sora talked to the counselor for the rest of the class. They were a few minutes late for their next one, but Roxas didn't draw and paid attention the rest of the day. After school, the boys met Riku outside. Roxas looked back and forth between the other two boys.

"Why don't you tell?" Roxas asked. "Are you... ashamed?"

"Ashamed of what?" Sora asked. Roxas motioned to Riku. Sora's eyes widened.

"Of course not! We're just worried of what people will think! We've grown up with these people, everyone on the island thought Kairi and I would be together forever... People like us aren't really well-liked around here, so we keep it a secret."

"So I shouldn't tell either?" Roxas asked, sounding the most defeated Sora had ever heard him sound. Sora realized that Roxas had been _proud_ to be with Axel. He'd been proud to be in love and anyone who didn't like it could, in Roxas' words, "go to hell". Sora patted the blonde on the back in a comforting manner. Roxas felt a strange twisting in his chest and realized it was his new heart breaking all over again.

"I'm sure people Twilight Town found it a little odd to see a grown man and a teenage boy showing each other affection, but they didn't _say_ anything. They just let us be. Are you telling me that these people won't just turn the other cheek?"

"Oh believe me, they don't like something you do, they tell you."

_Fade_

The clock read 3 AM. Roxas was still awake. Sora was spending the night with Riku. Roxas went over to his closet and took out the bag he'd had with him when he'd arrived. He changed quickly and focused his energy on creating a portal. To his surprise, one opened up and Roxas was left to hope it would take him to the right place. Pulling his hood up, he stepped through.

The dark city was falling apart now that there were no Heartless or Nobodies to keep after it. Roxas looked up at the castle, seeing the remains of the destroyed Kingdom Hearts in the sky.

"Hell, Xemnas, did you really think that would work?" Roxas muttered to himself. He walked through the eerily empty city up to the castle and wandered around the many hallways until he found the one he was looking for. He opened a door and was instantly greeted with a smoky scent. He closed the door behind him and went and curled up on the bed. He fell asleep, comforted by Axel's scent.

_Fade_

When he opened his eyes he was on the clock tower.

"Again?" he asked himself. He heard footsteps behind him.

"Well, hello to you, too," Axel greeted sarcastically. The redhead's voice held a playful tone.

Roxas suddenly laughed. "You know, it was 3 in the morning and I couldn't sleep. So you know what I did? Threw on this coat and made a portal home. I fell asleep in your bed."

"You seem to have a habit of doing that," Axel teased. Roxas looked at the redhead, smiling.

"I do, don't I?" Roxas kissed the redhead then, a long, passionate kiss that had Axel pulling Roxas into his lap so they could be closer. Roxas threaded his fingers through Axel's hair and Axel tightened his grip on Roxas' waist. The blonde broke the kiss and offered the redhead a breathless smile.

"God, I love you," Axel said, burying his face in Roxas' neck.

"I wish you could come back," Roxas said sadly. Axel kissed the blonde's neck before speaking.

"There was a way for you, so there must be some way for me, right?"

"I want to believe that," Roxas said quietly. "But I don't know."

"I love you," Axel said again, in an attempt to comfort the blonde. Roxas kissed Axel's cheek, returning the sentiment. They sat there in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Roxas curled further into Axel's warmth and breathed in the redhead's scent. He felt tears prick his eyes.

"I hate to think that when I wake up, you'll be gone again."

"I'm always there, Rox. In here." Axel placed a hand over Roxas' heart. Roxas laughed.

"That was just stupid."

"I know," Axel answered, laughing.

"I need to go. Sora's probably wondering where I am." Roxas gave Axel one final kiss.

_Fade_

Roxas' eyes flew open and he gasped. He had to get out. The scent that had been comforting when he had first entered the room was now suffocating. He made a portal back to Destiny Island and pulled his hood up.

When he walked onto the beach, he could see Sora and Riku in the distance. He walked up to the boys. Riku noticed him and nudged Sora to look in Roxas' direction. Sora threw his arms around the blonde then slapped him across the face.

"I was so worried about you! I went to wake you up and you were gone! Don't _ever_ do that again!" Roxas regarded Sora's tears with disinterest.

"I couldn't sleep. I went home."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sora sobbed.

"It was 3 in the morning. I just left."

"He was there again, wasn't he?" Sora demanded.

"So? He just wants to be with me. What's so wrong with that?"

"Who?" Riku asked.

"Axel," Roxas replied. "I'll explain later."

"You're not really dressed for school. Go home and get changed then come straight to school, understand? We've spent like, half the morning looking for you. Let's go, Riku." Sora led the silver-haired boy away and Roxas walked in the other direction, toward Sora's. He refused to call the place home. He changed for school and walked to the school. He checked the time and went to his third class, a little late. He slid into his seat next to Sora with a sheepish grin to the teacher.

"Where were you?" she demanded.

"I overslept," Roxas said. She sighed and continued with her lesson. Sora was silent and didn't even look at him until the bell rang.

"What did he say?" Sora asked as they walked to their next class.

"Something that makes me want to scream every time I think of it."

"What was it?"

"He said if there was a way for me to get out, there must be a way for him. He wants to be here, Sora, that's all he wants. Please, I'm begging you, if you can find a way..." Roxas couldn't help the tears that welled up in his eyes. Sora wrapped the blonde in a hug.

"No, don't cry. Please don't cry. It'll be okay. It'll be okay." Passing students stared at the two boys. A bell rang. Roxas wiped his tears away and walked into the classroom, Sora following.

"You're late," the teacher barked. Sora cleared his throat.

"We had a little... incident," the brunette explained. Roxas tugged on his wristband. The teacher sighed.

"Sit." The boys obeyed. Students that had seen them in the hall began to whisper. "No talking!"

Roxas folded his arms and rested his head on the desk, watching the teacher so he didn't get yelled at. After class the man called them up to his desk. He looked at them suspiciously.

"What was this 'incident' that made you late for my class?" he asked. Roxas looked down at the ground and Sora bit his lip. The brunette opened and closed his mouth. Roxas sighed.

"I'm mentally unstable and I had a breakdown in the hallway before class. Sora was trying to help me. I would prefer you didn't send me to the counselor's office. I was just there a few days ago. There's really nothing she can do to help me anyway."

"Fine, you can go." The boys left, running through the halls to get out of school. Riku was waiting for them. Sora pulled Riku off to the side and the two had a whispered conversation. Roxas sighed. He waited for the two to finish talking and the three started walking.

"I was having such a good day until I went home. Maybe I shouldn't have."

"You went home at 3 AM. Not much can happen," Riku said.

"Why do you call it home? You live here now. Destiny Islands is your home," Sora pouted.

"Sora, he's lived here a week. Give him some time."

"Thanks, Riku," Roxas said, offering a fake-looking smile.

"Roxas, you look like someone's torturing you. Stop that."

The three boys entered Sora's house. Sora's mother wasn't home yet, so the boys amused themselves the rest of the afternoon.

_Fade_

Roxas knew that the last few months, Sora and Riku had been plotting something. Roxas frankly didn't want to know. He had secretly stayed at home until past midnight, but Sora didn't know. So when Sora burst into the room at 8:30 in the morning, Roxas was less than pleased. He groaned at the weight on his stomach.

"What?"

"Roxas, wake up! It's our birthday! I got you an awesome present that's going to make you love me forever! Get up, get up, get up!" Sora suddenly found himself on the floor. Roxas rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep. Sora tsked.

"You went again, didn't you?"

"Yeah, so? Leave me alone."

"You have to come down to the beach! Riku and mom are waiting for you! All our friends, too!"

"_Your_ friends. I don't know these people."

"I don't care! Get out of bed or I'll call Riku!"

"Go to hell!"

"Boys, Riku's here!" Sora's mom called. Roxas sighed heavily and got out of bed. Sora left so Roxas could get dressed. The boys walked with Riku down to the beach. Sora grinned.

"Okay, face the water and whatever you do, don't turn around. Or close your eyes. Whichever you want." Roxas sighed and stared out at the waves. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Hey, you," a familiar voice said. Roxas' eyes flew open and he spun around. Standing there in a pair of shorts and a jacket with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, was Axel. Roxas let out a small sound of surprise and ran toward the redhead. Axel wrapped him in a tight hug and kissed the top of his head. Roxas picked his head up from Axel's chest and smiled.

"You're here," Roxas said breathlessly. "You're really here."

"Yeah, Roxy," Axel said, grinning. "I'm here."

"Who's the best brother in the world?" Sora called. Roxas ran over to the brunette and hugged him.

"I'll admit it, you are. Thank you so much."

"Now we just have to see if mom approves," Sora said. Roxas laughed. Axel walked over and wrapped his arms around Roxas from behind and kissed the blonde's neck.

"I think she will." Roxas looked up at Axel. "What do you say? You want to go home?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Roxas made a portal and he and Axel walked up to it, hand in hand. Roxas turned and for the first time, Sora saw Roxas give him a real, truly happy smile before disappearing with Axel into the darkness.

-END-

**A/N: is it finally done? I sat there and proofread this from beginning to end. SO. MANY. TYPOS. -shudder- Byebye. REVIEW, BITCHES!**


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